


a glimpse of heaven

by bellemon



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cancer, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 04:20:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellemon/pseuds/bellemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the Gameofships prompt Illness. Sansa wants to live till the first snow, at least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a glimpse of heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Never got to submit this for gameofships, but here it is. Still kinda rough around the edges, but y'know. Thirteen year old here, can't expect it to be perfect. o u o + it was typed on my ipad.

 

Sansa doesn't cry when she finds out, despite the fact that everyone else in her family does. She just stares at Doctor Clegane, blue eyes dull as all of her dreams and wants fade to nothing before her eyes.

Sansa hardly ever wants for much. Surrounded by a loving family, living in a middle class house and never having starved a day in her life, the only thing she has ever wanted is a good husband and a good life and to have three kids that she will love equally.

But she knows, at that very moment, that life can never be so forgiving as that. So, she ducks her head in a nod and agrees when Catelyn asks in a shaky voice if she wants to try for the Chemotherapy.

~:~

Sansa hates the hospital. She hates the food, and the doctors (especially doctor Baelish, who is always feeling her up a little too far South when he checks up on her) and her new neighbor, Aerys, who never has any visitors, causing her to feel an immeasurable amount of guilt because her family is there for her almost every day. She hates the fact that she has to spend her birthday here, and sleep here, and that it's a constant reminder that she isn't normal, because the rest of the Stark kids are always wearing their school uniforms when they come to visit, whereas Sansa can't go to school because she's on Chemo.

But the hospital is the place where she meets Aegon Targaryem.

Aegon is Aerys' first and only visitor. She first bumps into him when she gets up early in the morning and goes to the vending machine to get a chocolate bar because cancer doesn't stop her menstruation and she's tired of having things served to her like her lungs deem her unable to walk.

He spills his ice coffee on her hospital gown, making her drop her chocolate bar.

"God," she says, ducking down to grab the chocolate (it hasn't yet been five seconds, and she needs chocolate), "can't you watch where you're going?"

He looks down at her, brows creased, and she sees for the first time his strange eye color. Violet, it seems. For a second, she is entranced in his pretty face - with his pretty silver hair and soft fair skin.

And then he opens his mouth. "Me? If you were watching where you were going, you wouldn't have gotten in my way!"

Sansa rolls her eyes. "Ugh. Whatever," she says, before stomping off and taking a chomp out of her bar. Boys are so obtuse!

She's only taken a few steps when she notices that he's walking a few steps behind her. Sansa's head snaps around, and she glares at him.

"Are you following me?" she asks, voice full of disdain.

"Me? Following you?" he replies. "Pssh. I'm here to visit my grandad. Don't flatter yourself."

Sansa rolls her eyes and goes back to stomping off to her room, dripping ice coffee everywhere.

~:~

It seems that, after that unfortunate meeting, he is everywhere but away from her. She bumps into him once when she is sneaking down to the hospital's glass gardens to watch the sunset after her family leave (visiting hours haven't ended yet, but it is a school night, and the home of the Starks is miles away), and maybe he doesn't spill coffee on her again, but she glares at him all the same. They meet again at the vending machine when Sansa's throwing a fit over the fact that the stupid thing ripped her off. He slams a shoulder into it, and her pack of M&Ms falls out of the grip of the metal coil.

"I didn't need your help!" she snaps at him, grabbing the pack. She doesn't care if it's unladylike - he stained the only hospital gown she had that didn't show off her ass.

"A simple thank you would suffice," he replies, sipping at the ice coffee he seems to always be holding when they meet.

Over the next two weeks, it happens about fifty other times, with him walking past her when she steps out of her hospital room, her tripping up in front of him while she's roaming around the grounds and talking to Arya, or brushing shoulders with her on her way down the hall for whatever reason.

It especially doesn't help when Robb himself brings him into her room one day. He's just come from his weekly football game with Jon and Ned, she can tell.

Aegon's smile falls when he sees her sitting there.

"Hey, San," he greets, grinning. "This is Aegon. He just moved into the apartment next to ours. He's a pretty cool dude."

"He's our neighbor?" she asks, mouth gaping.

"She's your sister?" Aegon looks at Robb, brows raised.

"You know each other?" Robb says, looking between them.

"No, no," Sansa says quickly, ignoring the look that Aegon gives her. "Of course not."

Robb is too gullible to notice that she's lying. "Well, I'm gonna go get some coffee. You guys want anything?"

Sansa stares at Aegon, eyes narrowed, but speaks to Robb. "Could you get me a pack of M&Ms, please?"

"I'm okay," Aegon says, looking straight back at her.

"I'll be off, then!" Robb exclaims, before leaving.

"YOU!" they both yell, when he is gone, pointing at each other.

"Geez, if I knew you were the sister he constantly talks about...." he trails off, shaking his head. "And you're living right next door to my grandad."

Sansa blinks for a moment. "Your grandad?" It suddenly makes sense. The day he spilt his coffee on her, he said he was visiting his grandad - her neighbor, Aerys. "You mean the grump living next door is your grandad?"

He purses his lips. "Yes."

She suddenly realizes how rude it was of her to say that. Sansa doesn't know if Aerys is here for cancer like she is, but he is Aegon's grandad - and he has to have some kind of life challenging disease for him to stay in the hospital 24/7. Her blue eyes soften. "Wait, I didn't mean to - "

"M&Ms are here~" Robb exclaims as he enters, sufficiently cutting her off. He tosses the M&Ms at her, and she just barely catches them.

"Geez, San, we really need to work on that arm of yours," Robb says, sipping his coffee and grinning. After their first visit only a month ago in which Catelyn collapsed to the floor and began to weep the minute she laid eyes on her daughter, it is an unspoken rule that the Starks go about everything like it is absolutely certain that Sansa will live to a ripe, old age. Sansa herself likes to see it like that, too. She has always preferred to distance herself from the gravity of her situation.

For the rest of the visit, Aegon sits staring at her almost thoughtfully.   
  
~:~

Sansa loves her hair. She loves it when her mother brushes it and braids it and puts little bows in it. She loves when people comment on the vibrant red color ("Kissed by fire," Ygritte, Jon's girlfriend, said when they first met, giving a nod of approval).

So, when the first clump of hair falls out, while she's brushing it one morning, Sansa almost feels like sobbing. It is much more than just her losing a bit of pretty hair, though. It is a reminder of what's happening to her.

Without thinking, she sends her fist flying at the wall next to the mirror, angry at the world and the tumor and herself in general.

The pain almost feels good, and she is about to pull back her fist to look at the damage, when Aegon runs in.

"Sansa?" he asks, and her head snaps around to look at him, her hair whipping at her face.

"Go away," she hisses, her fist tightening around the clump of hair that resides there. "What the hell do you want? Just leave me alone!"

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, princess, but my grandad is trying to sleep and he's a complete grouch right now because it's almost impossible with miss I'm-gonna-punch-a-wall living - " he breaks off, faltering. "Are you crying?"

Sansa sniffs, wiping her damp eyes. She hasn't cried in so long, she didn't even realize what the blur in her eyes was until he mentioned it.

"No," she snaps.

He eyes her up and down for a few seconds, before speaking in an almost gentle voice.

"Okay."

~:~

Aegon is walking down the hall, towards the vending machine where they first met, when he hears the yelling.

" - off!" Yells the girl's voice, and he knows immediately that it is Sansa. "Get the hell off me! I said no! Please, just get off!"

He stops in the middle of the hall, sipping at his ice coffee, and listens for a moment longer.

"Come on, sweetling, just a little touch will do no harm," says a smooth voice in return. The sound of tearing and a manly yelp follows, then the crack of what he knows is a slap. Sansa's gasp of pain makes his heart lurch, and he immediately begins to run. Even if Sansa is completely and utterly hostile to him, she is still a person - a girl.

It is Dr. Baelish who has her pinned up against the wall next to the vending machine, her hospital gown hanging off of her slim form, and he has her wrists against the wall with his hands. Aegon grabs the doctor's collar, yanking him back, and Sansa falls to the ground, curling in on herself.

Aegon smashes his coffee into Dr. Baelish's face, cup, straw and all, and the liquid splashes all over the place. With a yank, he pulls him down to the floor, and the old man goes sliding at the force.

He looks up at Sansa, who is still cuddled up to the vending machine, and drops the cup. "Sansa?" He asks, approaching her tentatively. He pulls off his jacket, and drapes it around her shoulders. "Sansa, are you okay?"

When she looks up at him, his eyes widen. Her lip is split, dripping blood, and her eyes display a sort of admiration that he's never expected coming from her.

For a second, he feels like he rules the world. Sansa's knight in shining armor - that's a feat, for him. Albeit a feat he's never intended to accomplish, but a feat all the time.

She looks down, wiping away the blood with the ball of her thumb, and leans into him. "Thank you," she whispers.

~:~

After that, Aegon and Sansa seem to fall into a sort of friendship.

Dr. Baelish has been sent to court with his attempted rape, something that Sansa really prefers not to talk about because she doesn't want to look weak and needy,

Catelyn and Ned are immediately all over him when they learn that he is the one who saved their daughter from the rape, asking him if there's anything he needs or wants of them in return.

"Oh, no I'm fine," Aegon looks at Sansa, who's sitting on her hospital bed and trying not to laugh at his flustered expression, and he says, "Ah, actually, I'll have an iced coffee, please."

She really does laugh, then.

~:~

Sansa is snacking on Robb's halloween haul of candy (it tastes terrible, but she eats it anyway, because Robb saved some especially for her, even though he hates sharing) and playing Go Fish with Jon, Arya, Robb and Aegon when Catelyn and Ned announce that it's time to go home.

No one in the room was born yesterday. Everyone knows what it means.

Sansa's just surprised at how well Catelyn is handling it. Catelyn, who began to weep whole heartedly when she saw all the hair missing on Sansa's head.

She pulls down her hat at the mere memory (Arya had given it to her a day after Catelyn's breakdown. It was obvious that Arya hand knit it herself - the stitching was terrible - but Sansa wears it every day because she knows how much her sister hates knitting), and nods.

"Okay, then," she whispers, low enough for hardly anyone to hear but loud enough for everyone to understand

~:~

Thanksgiving isn't as somber as one might think. No - this is a Stark family thanksgiving, not a funeral. Not yet.

She sits between Arya and Jon, gets a huge serving of stuffing (Sansa loves Catelyn's stuffing - it's so phenomenal) and announces her hopes for seconds.

Sansa doesn't mention the fact that she can't taste a thing. Sansa has always liked pretending. And everyone else pretends not to notice when she excuses herself to go to the bathroom and retches up her whole dinner, even though nearly everyone cries themselves to sleep that night.

~:~

They sit on the balcony of the Stark's apartment, Sansa wearing the hat Arya knit her and hugging Aegon's jacket around her thin form.

"I want to live till the first snow, at least," Sansa says, closing her eyes and leaning back in her lawn chair. Aegon is sitting next to her, sipping at the iced coffee that he seems to have an abundance of these days (Robb took his suggestion to heart). "Dr. Clegane told me that the due date is December."

Aegon gulps. It's already November. December is painfully close at this point.

"Don't tell my parents I asked, though. Mother would have a fit," she says.

He looks at her, opens his mouth, but closes it again.

"Do you think there's somewhere beyond?" she asks in a small voice.

"My father once said that there can be one, if you want," he replies.

Sansa looks at him, tears shimmering in her eyes. "I want one. I want one so I can meet you in it."

Aegon's eyes lock with hers. "How do you know I want one?" he asks.

Sansa doesn't answer, but her hand just grabs his and grips it as tight as she can. It's answer enough for him, because he knows what it means.

I know you.

~:~

Aegon and Sansa never do get that lovely moment where they look at each other and realize how enamored they are. They never do get that beautiful moment that Sansa has always dreamed of where they come running to each other in a field and he twirls her and they kiss.

Their relationship was never really like that.

Aegon and Sansa's one is more simple than that.

They don't really realize they're in love. It's kind of like when you grow taller but you don't notice as it happens but you know it's happening.

He takes her out to see Swan Lake on the ice on the first morning of December. It's kind of a date, but kind of not a date because Robb volunteered to come with them and paid for the tickets. Sansa sneaks in a pack of skittles and eats all the lemon, orange and lime ones before giving the rest to Robb.

"The citrus ones are the only ones that are actually worth it," she tells him when she sees the questioning look he's giving her.

Sansa waits for the intermission to go to the bathroom, and Aegon offers to escort her, even though she says she's fine.

Aegon waits outside the girls bathroom for her to come out, ignoring the suspicious looks he's getting. She's been in there for at least fifteen minutes and there is no one coming out or in when Aegon decides to go in and check on her.

"San?" he asks, stepping into the bathroom and letting his eyes slide up and down the doors of the stalls. Their all empty, but for the one on the end.

"San? You okay?" he asks.

"Go away," her shaky voice replies. "I just need a minute."

She's crying, he realizes. He knocks on the door. "San, just please let me in. What's wrong?"

The lock clicks, and the door cracks open. That was quick.

"I just realized that I don't want to die," she says, her voice a monotone.

Aegon's brows crease. What is he to say to that? He doesn't want her to die either. But that isn't what he shouldn't be thinking about.

Before he can decide, the door closes again. "I'll be out in a minute," she says. "Don't tell Robb."

"I'm not leaving you," he says.

"You'll have to, anyway. Everyone will. Everyone will leave me behind," her voice is shaky. "It's selfish, I know, but I don't want to be left behind."

Aegon closes his eyes, his forehead hovering above the door. "I don't want to leave you behind, either."

The door opens, this time all the way, and Sansa practically jumps onto his arms, pressing her lips to his. She seems for a moment to be pulling away, but Aegon is not having it. He pulls her closer, not wanting to ever let go, and lets his tongue slip into her mouth when she sobs into the kiss. Her lips taste of lemons and limes and oranges, and he decides that it is true.

The citrus ones are the only ones that are worth it.

"I love you," he whispers against her lips, but she just sobs harder.

~:~

They don't really start dating after that, not exactly, but that's fine with Aegon. He spends every other minute that isn't spent with Aerys on her.

It's a week into December when they decide to have a family outing to the park. Aegon and Sansa sit together on a bench while the other Stark kids run around, having fun. A few minutes in, and it begins to snow.

She leans her head on his shoulder, as the snow flakes melt in her hat, and closes her eyes. "It's the first snow," she mumbles.

"Yeah, it is," he says. He can't help but feel ecstatic for a moment - she's lived till the first snow, right? Doesn't that mean she can possibly live past it, to a ripe old age? "It's beautiful isn't it?"

"Wake me up when it's time to go home," Sansa says, and it's as if she hasn't heard anything he's said. "I feel so tired."

"Okay," Aegon replies, but he knows the minute that she closes her eyes, she will never get home. He doesn't know how he knows - but he doesn't really care about the why. The sound of his dying hopes for her to live longer are ringing in his ears. He does everything in his power to not start sobbing right there, and leans his head on hers, looking around at Arya and Rickon and Bran who run around and play in the snow, whilst Robb and Jon try to shield themselves from two hooligans hurling snowballs at them. Beautifully oblivious.

"You know Sansa, I remember when we first met. You were the prettiest girl I'd ever seen," he chuckles, "and then you opened your mouth, and I thought 'Geez, what a bitch,' and then we kept on meeting and meeting and I guess I just got used to you. And then the incident happened and I realized that you're not all that bad and I thought that maybe we could go on a date or something because your family is amazing and you are amazing and I guess...." he says, lip quivering, "I'd just like to know...."

She slumps against him, and he hears her breathing no longer. His eyes lock with Robb's, all the way across the field, and all the other Stark kids seem to know at that exact moment what has happened because they all give pause to whatever they are doing - even Rickon. He continues on, though. Never faltering despite the quiver in his lips and the lump in his throat that won't go down and the fact that what he's saying is pointless.

"....will you marry me?"

 


End file.
